am I willing to be misunderstood?
a meditation
last week I received a pre-print copy of my book of poetry. and as exciting as that was—seeing the 150 pages laid out just as they’ll be for anyone who picks it up—there is a sober reality to bringing a body of work to a close.
did I say all I wanted to say?
did I leave things out that should have been said?
I tell songwriters sometimes, “This won’t be the last thing you write.” I think it’s sound advice (which I try to remind myself of sometimes), but the truth is, it has always been a fearful thing to bring creative work into the light.
why a fearful thing?
there are a number of reasons—internal and external—but the one that nags me most is, after I have given a work my best attention I am capable of in that moment…
am I willing to be misunderstood?
I have a few comforts that help me move past the paralysis of being misunderstood.
-other people’s perceptions are outside of my control: I will never be able to control for how people connect or don’t connect with what I write (or who I am). I tend to operate with Robert Frost’s advice in mind: “No tears for the writer, no tears for the reader.” In other words, if it resonates deeply with me, then I have to trust that the work will go out into the world and find others with whom it will also resonate. how many beautiful albums have I missed out on because I wasn’t in the right mood? wasn’t the right season? etc. so I simply try and write things I mean.
-communication is organic, not static: whatever I make, write, sing or say is incomplete. it’s not the final word. so why should I expect that this new thing is a crystallized, perfected utterance? that is a product mentality, not a gardener’s mentality. and even if I get something wrong, I can get up, dust myself off, and try to learn how to make it right. or if not right, then better.
-Jesus was willing to be misunderstood: as the gospels read, Jesus was misunderstood time and again, both by people who were against him and also by his family and closest friends. to the very end, from his last supper of the Passover meal to praying in the olive grove to the cross and even after… and when he taught people in stories and parables, I can’t help but think how much confusion he could have avoided by just doing an extensive, year-long Q&A. perhaps doctrinal clarity wasn’t what he was after. maybe he was willing to be misunderstood because his sense of why he was here compelled him beyond tending to and maintaining an image. I’m beguiled and filled with wonder at the implications of how he lived and what it means about the character of God.
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this is just meant as a small meditation on struggling with the fear of being misunderstood. certainly more to explore along this theme…
Q: how do you move past/overcome the fear of being misunderstood?
peace,
Z
Rich and helpful, Zach.
I love this- being misunderstood is so hard sometimes but it’s so helpful to remember that Jesus was misunderstood all the time- thinking about that helps me move through being misunderstood in the moment.