are you stressed, Jen?

some thoughts for when doom is dooming

maybe we should all be hibernating.

at least it seems like that. a lot of people I know are stressed right now. lots of reasons. (no, this is not a political post. yes, I too am mildly stressed. what good does it do? not too much, far as I can tell.)

I was reading about the long-ago conquests of the king of Assyria (Sennacharib), who had brought down several other regional powers, and was threatening to destroy Jerusalem (and make them eat their own excrement, etc.).

the king of Judah (Hezekiah) lived in Jerusalem, and I thought his response merited some reflection on what to do with our stressful situations (like having your kingdom destroyed and having to eat your own excrement—last mention, I promise).

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here’s a walkthrough of his response timeline and then some thoughts on what it suggests to me:

• king of Assyria + armies arrive to conquer

• messenger brings “surrender or die”

• king Hezekiah hears

• king Hezekiah tears clothes, covers himself with goat haircloth

• runs to temple

• presents Assyria’s message to temple trustworthies, to tell prophet Isaiah

• Isaiah prays, hears, tells king “do not be afraid”

• Isaiah gives message to send back to king of Assyria

• king of Assyria is tied up for a time fighting Ethiopia

• comes back with renewed threats

• this time Hezekiah brings the scroll of threats before God and prays

• Isaiah assures Hezekiah and sends a message for the king of Assyria

• a plague runs through the Assyrian camp

• king of Assyria et al. depart

there are some fascinating aspects to the parley, but for now I want to reflect on Hez’s response. (also, if you’re curious at a contextual level, the Fall of Civilizations podcast has a wonderful 3-hour episode on the rise and fall of the Assyrian Empire here).

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the first time Hezekiah hears the distressing news, he rips his clothes and covers himself with clothes made of goat hair—both signs of grief and mourning. it’s like saying I am torn—I am lost¹.

“I am torn—I am lost” are pretty natural starting places with stress.

then he runs and tells trustworthies/friends what’s the what, and asks them to tell Isaiah to talk to God on his behalf. it’s interesting to consider how removed Hez feels from God at this moment—Hezekiah > trustworthies > Isaiah > God².

in a less dignified or structured way, I also think my knee-jerk reaction under stress is to tell some people I trust before I attempt to talk to God about it. is this bad? nah. are there better ways?

I’m grateful Isaiah’s first word for Hezekiah is “do not be afraid”.

fear is a natural response in stress.

“do not be afraid” is an invitation to remember that God is aware of and beyond the power (and scope) of the stress.

breathe.

but after Hezekiah gets some reassurance and even an answer to prayer, still Sennacharib’s messenger is breathing doom at his gates.

is the God who told him to breathe really aware of and beyond raw military power?

this time when Hezekiah reads the threats, he runs and brings the scroll before God and prays himself.

I have a friend gracious enough to listen to me whine for a bit, and then he asks me, “what do you feel like God has been speaking to you about that?”

our desire to share our burdens with others is natural and right. but we deprive ourselves (and sometimes ask too much of our friends) when we don’t bring our burdens before a living God.

he spreads out the scroll that spells out his hypothetical doom before God.

it’s like he’s saying—God, see the terrors I am beset with? they are beyond me, but I lay them (and myself) in front of your eyes. what say you?

this is what I see Hezekiah doing in this passage. he has moved past the fear and grieving response. he is no longer relying on someone else to hear wisdom and guidance from God for him. he is bringing his stressful situation directly to God, spelling it all out. and ultimately, God answers his prayers.

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many of our stressors are far smaller, but may still have the aspect of an army of doom at our gates.

I felt compelled to share this sequence with you, because the arc of Hezekiah’s response spoke to me, and I planned to reflect on it anyways.

you might also want to try an anxiety dump, like I mentioned in this post (hilariously, from almost exactly a year ago).

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I hope some of these reflections provide some nourishment for your thoughts.

do they?

are you sure? [insert cheeky tongue-out emoji]³

thanks for being here. I write weekly sharing poetry, songs, musings, thoughts on creative life, and hopefully some encouragement… my first collection of poetry, Snowmelt to Roots, is available in my shop, (or on Amazon). and my music is available here.

playing in the Carolinas this weekend. come see me.

peace,

Z

1. maybe also like saying “I have fallen from the height of humanness”?

2. there is likely a structure here that I am missing

3. Jen’s foot pain leading into her stress test set her “normal” level so high that nothing Denholm Reynholm (her boss) could do or say would make her more stressed.